Saturday, April 18, 2009

from my eyes 1

salam.
what a nite semalam was. sungguh terkilan cuz i betul2 nk perform semalam,dgn minggu yg terasa begitu panjang,from the beginning of sunday i feel so excited tapi ada yg tak kena,
practice with the band terus rakam kat recorder yg pinjam ngan otam( a friend yg co wrote 'satu dalam sejuta') asyik dgr berkali kali pasal syok sgt dgn muzik yg telah di buat,i got it right from the 1st practice lagi tak pernah rasa mcm ni.
Kalau biasanya dgr2 sekejap kemudian dh mula buat benda lain.. cuz mmg i ni cam cepat bosan klu dgr lagu sama lama2
tapi this time entah la kali ni asyik dgr berkali kali klu ada masa sikit.. tanyalah diorang.
i cant wait to perform ,i told my self.its like listening to your straight a's spm result.. hahha( walaupun)

setiap ari berlalu....minggu ni mmg pelik...sgt pelik,call time yg tak menentu asyik tukar sana tukar sini tak pernanh mcm ni...
kelas kat celebrity fitness pun tiba2 kena buat sendiri,takde limit.. cam ada instructor tapi lebih bebas nk buat pape...
then masuk kelas 'capoeira'
semua cam tak best langsung,satu kelas yg kami tak enjoy....kah kah kah
lepas biasanya makan nasi kat food court tu.. makan koew teow tomyam pulak haihhh
biasanya i do a rutin sepanjang 4 1/2 bulan mmg itu je yg dibuat....


then farewell dinner simon yg hanya setengah jam.. AND i LUPA AMIK GAMBAR *%^&^$
i salu bwk kamera and take a lot of memorable picture...seolah olah lupa mcm2!!
kak ju dtg bwk kek aiskrim tapi pastu dpt call dari 8tv utk appear dgn hunny madu.. semua bergegas...
sedihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

pastu biasanya ada minus one kali ni takde.. so bila masuk kelas tak pdt practice apa2 cuma diskusi saja...kurang menarik.. tapi byk input..salu tgk dvd ramai2
janji nk tgk 'benjamin buttons' pastuh tak jadi/.. haihhhhh satu lagi rutin tak menjadi..

-beli shampoo baru,beli sliper baru..cam nk abeskan duit elaun makan kitaorang tu...hehehe
cuci sweater dan baju2 yg lama tak di pakai di korek kembali utk di kemas.. cam tau2 jer nk blah..

lagu 'camni-lah' yg practice beriya. kami berlima tiba tukar pulak..patutnya kami nyanyi first part pastu baru shila ngan dafi tukar pulak diorang dulu baru kami.. kelam kabut kitaorang pening nk hafal lirik yg lain pulak.. haihhh

oohh.... camni lah camnilah...sedih giler dgr dari bilik wardrobe kat atas,....

THE LAST PERFOMANCE

tuhan saja tau mcm mana rasaya masa di umumkan keluar..satu film lama played so rapid fast until your head spins...felt like fainted..lutut lemah dan hampir jatuh. numb seluruh badan tak dpt pilik.. dgr marion berckp sesuatu berkali.kali..-are u ok itu je yg ingat tapi tak dpt dgr for sure.cnt think or say antyhing..awal ckp apa pun aku tak fhm dah.. cam dia cakapa bahasa brazil jer..

all in my head aku kena perform ni.. 'lagu i'm yours kan? thats what i say..wuts the 1st lyrics.. ouh ya..i wont hesitate..
( bagus la aku tak lupa lirik) ' mana mic..ouh aku kena amik kat kana( our floor manager)
'kenapa aku cam melayang layang ni..ok mungkin ni bukan real.. aku mimpi ni.. tapi kena nyanyi..

masa nyanyi pun masih berfikir lagi.. betul ke ni amylea.. betul ke ni amylea.. maknanya mcm mana dgn lagu konsert malam ni... kau tak nyanyi ke amylea.. baju yg kau amik dari designer ni kau just pakai utk i ni je ke..??
masa tu la yg hati tersebak terus lari pitching &%%*$%#$# (- arghh lari pitching- sempat lagi tu..) ok2 control...nnt tgk balik kat site malu klu tak sedap...giler la kau pikir sampai camtu nyer jauh masa perfom last.. then i see my cousins pegang banner berdiri kat situ dgn kwn2 dia.. to support me malam ni becuz i asked them to.. ada interaction with the audience so i need them to be there.. and i can see my parents out from a far.. sambil tu i sempat jeling ke belakang tgk aubrey.abg nan..cikgu yuaz and teh rest of teh gang.. dalam hati.. AKU NK PERFORM ARRANGEMENTS TU MALAM NI!~i'm sorry.. they really looking forward to paly my music smlm...cuz my music cam jenis relax2 and fun so they enjoy that kind of music..


i alwys think...if i go out mcm mana lah rasanya.. but never thought it wud be this hard..
if i went last week.. mybe i wont feel this way.. concert ni la yg i nanti2 kan to show how i want to perform begitu dgn research but sayanggggg// haihhhh

turun stage.,.biasanya akan shake hand dgn aubrey..jatuh la air mata pertama in front of him tak patut camtu but i really got nothing to hide..he's a friend yg byk2 giler membantu i dalam competition ni..he looked at me and i cry like a river..bukan apa..psl tak dpt perform itu je.. kalah>? tiada siapa yg pernah kalah disini, atau lebih tepat.. mmg dh tau2 dah tak menang hahha

i said to aubrey sambil meraung...sakitnya tak tau kt mana.,.
"aubrey.. all i want is to perform tonite.. i worked so damn hard...i just want to perform the arrangements//""

awal kemarin.. production dh minta 2 lagu yg ingin perform di finals..i m the only person yg masih meragu.. rasa cam tak kena and then i cant decide what song.. selama ni yg berangan angan nk bwk lagu tu la nk bwk lagu ni lah.. nk pakai baju tu la ni lah.. semua dh kabur.. lenyap terus.. terus i say to my self

' kenapa dgn aku ni .. tak tau nk bwk lagu apa..

then we sit and bincang semuanya tak kena di hati den ni ha.. terus ckp dgn nine ... tgk muka dia...( masa tu dh petang)
nine tanya ' apsal u..kenapa
i said.. nine.. kenapa ni.. i cam rasa tak best sgt2...i rasa ..
.' u ok'.. arrangements u lain mesti ok punya,.. i ni yg tak tentu akan perform ke tak..

..............................................

buat vocal exercise pun cam hampeh... sbb tak cukup time.. semuanya nk skip tu skip ni.. then for the 1st time.. i ckp..i takleh buat vocal exercise ni lama2.. i dh nk pitam.. cuz too nervous.. i stopped..AMYLEA STOPPED THE EXERCISE!~
wow... haihhhh

.................takde bacaan doa2 ramai./. semua sendiri saja..lain lagi..


WITHOUT SAYING GOOD BYE

Lepas jumpa aubrey.. mata terus tak nampak..
jalan pace yg agak laju.. melulu naik naik ke atas..kiri pandang pun tak.. kanan pun tak nampak but i realize ppl calling my name berhenti sekejap tapi terus melangkah naik tangga..kecewa sampai tak dpt berfikir.
kamera ikut straight

i sat down,..cuba hayati apa sebenarnya rasa nya masatu.. and tak ingat apa i ckp kat kamera,...then i said before i look stupid.. baik aku blah.. i went into the changing room and cry again..tapi cam tak berair mata.. sebaknya tuhan jer yg tahu...sakit,..cam putus cinta pun ada jugak.. tak pernah aku rasa begitu passionate nyer aku nk naik stage.. then i sedar.. damn.. amylea u really love the stage dont you??
YES i answer myself.. terdengar masa tu. lagu coca cola my part mmg esther yg akan amik..
terduduk dalam bilik kecik tu.. terasa cam di pisah laut jer dgn diorang.. malu bukan kepalang.. rasa bersalah dgn semua org yg dtg semata mata utk i perform..
rasa cam kena bunuh..
then dgr nine perform.. ( kamera gurl kitaorang masa tu tak putus ketuk2 pintu) tapi gua bo layan.. layan perasaan ah kononyer.. nih..
sekali lagi rasa cam di sepak..
aku yg patut perform dulu.. then baru nine//
skrg nine yg nyanyi dulu.. " eh.. betul la aku dh kena kick out.. terus teringat guitar kat bwh dan props carpet yg aku request dgn production ahad lepas.. AMYLEA>>>>>> aku jerit nama sendiri( tapi dlm hati) rasa cam give up.. 5 bulan hard work baru masa tu terasa penat..

then i heard suara org yg i kenal...pija..
terus bukak jer pintu tu.. peluk dia pegang tgn dia.. pija... tolong aku kenapa aku rasa camn9i??aku respect semua org yg keluar dgn senyuman tapi aku keluar cam sore looser..
aku tak leh tahan perasaan kecewa aku.. aku bukan malu sbb kalah.. aku kempunan nk perform lagu2 yg aku dh buat ...tolong aku pija;

pija yg tenangkan i dalam bilik tu..then amir luqman and james dtg.. 2 sahabat baik i
pujuk2 dan pujuk dan pujuk lagi

then ada certain time masa tu pija keluar kejap...
actually i feel lost..

Oh no..kalau i tgk muka semua org lagi lah i takleh tahan sebak.. bapak emotional aku ni.. but then i learn to accpet it.. i ni mmg mudah tersentuh.. and emotional.. thats whay i can write songs.. cuz i i can go into deeper meaning.. that reaches through your soul..

larike bwh.. amik semua brg dan terus pack.. tgg di bilik mekap sampai lah press conference starts..............

to be continued

16 comments:

Munchulyna said...

kak amylea, be strongggg
kitorang sedeng GILA kak mylea kuarrr
then, tak dpt dgr prformce akak~
rindu gileeeee
tp bleive me, klau ada production yg still x sedar yg u got the package,
screw them abis abisan lah!!!!
apapepun yg kak amylea buat, I will support! And a lot others will too!!!!
by the way, kak, I miss nak dgar akak nyanyi lagi Ku Berserah!
Huuu Syahdu je rasa wuu
Kak, be strong ya! CamniLAH!
;)
I<3You!

a m said...

i suport u

eleza737 said...

be strong ok amylea =)

no matter what happens, teruskan cita2.. will support u =)

Muhd Hamzah said...

saya sebak membaca keluahan Amy.. sedih sangat Amylea keluar. sedih sedih..

Rizal said...

terus berkarya k. kau akan jd komposer yang disegani pada masa akan datang. macam allayarham loloq n m-nasir

bayieng said...

babe, u're not a sore loser. not at all!!! in fact u make me proud!! i'm so proud of you!! proud to say that i've been supporting you since af3. proud to say that u're only 23 but the most talented/gifted/ ambitious young musician i have ever met!!

i know u have a lot to offer. u can make it on ur own. i know one day u're going to have a solo concert and i'll be among ur fans that won't regret to spend hundred of ringgits just to watch u perform.

so hanging there! u're gonna make industry proud to have you :)

p/s: if only production can let you perform the "concert theme" during finals for acara selingan...hahahhahaha nnt outstaged the finalist plak ;)

o_o said...

babe..i wish i was there 4 u :(

ghazaly said...

Hi Amylea,

I am surprise that you got eliminated yesterday. In OIAM 3, i can see you are a very talented girl.. u got the musical brain and the voice too.. I am never an AF fan so this program is the first where i see you perform. very nice. Actually i am looking forward to see you perform last night.. its a real shocker u got boot out. well maybe because i dont vote :). I never vote. If i know u will get boot out. i prolly would vote a bunch. hehe

what ever it is, just know that u got real talent and dont give up. with proper PR and marketing u can be big. I wish u all the best :)

Looking foward to hear more from you. :)

ain hatikristal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
pestisid said...

u did your best. we know ur talent. cheers amylea!

apeace said...

be strong, amylea. insya-Allah, ade la sesuatu yg lbh baik utk amylea n ur talent. rahmat Allah luas kat alam ni. so, usahakan la yg terbaik n all the best.

ain hatikristal said...

amylea..

i fan tomok,tapi i minat kat u gak..
suara bagus dan muzik fresh..

sayang u dah terkeluar..

i wish u all the best,dan jgn putus asa k..u're the best!

doden said...

nak buat macamana Amylea nie tv dorang kan.Harap2 dorang tak gunakan Tomok sebab dorang tahu Tomok ramai peminat perempuan, jangan fikir pasal keuntungan jer..Amylea...hati saya dah hancur berkecai bila Amylea tak kesampaian.Saya tak pasti samada Vote in ntk Amylea cukup atau tidak, tetapi yang say apasti mesti VOTE OUT Amylea melebihi mana-mana peserta.Takpelah AMylea, at least pengalaman tu penting kan?
Jangan lupa komen blog saya..chiow..
http://doden.blogdrive.com

.atiqaturn. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
.atiqaturn. said...

i lurve ur music!
damn lurve ur passion!
stay d way u are..
=)

ak_0143 said...

datang sini by accident
tatau apa tah aku cari tadi, tiba2 datang sini
fyi, mmg ikuti oiam3 dari awal lagi
mmg best, perelease tensen bila studi
slalunya tak tgk live, tggu donlod dr 8tv...

tak pernah tgk rancangan realiti cmni...
sbb mybe dri top 12, nampak sume power
n sume tersendri
sume ada cara memasing
(masa tuh kutuk giler tomok, sbb dulu benci nb.. haha)

n one thing korang nampak rapat
n tgk diaries pon, korg best...
thus mmg tgk oiam3, n nantikan every week!

from the very beginning, mmg expect esther, tomok n amylea to the final
mmg awal2 lagi dah kata gitu

tapi nak wat cmna...
bukan rezeki kan

n reading the story from ur side through this blog makes me want to comment
walau tah ke mana2 tah komen ni...
huhu

neway, gud luck amylea...
tak menang pon, oiam3 dah bagi spotlight kat u...
at least skrg ni mmg org kenal siapa amylea...

smile gurl!